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I don’t know how much you know about 12 step programs like the one I am involved in.
I printed out the steps so you can read them in case you don’t know what they are.
Hopefully that will help both you and her to have more productive conversations.
But first, here is an example of how you can address some of the above questions: Honey, I have realized that you must feel pretty left out of my recovery.
Click here to learn more about what an intensive is and how it can help save your marriage.
I know I am gone so much with meetings and therapy and that must be so hard for you after all you have been through.
I can’t even imagine how painful this has been for you.
I’m not looking for that and when that starts coming up, I scale my presence in her life back considerably – I don’t want things to turn into a relationship and therefore I withdraw. I’ve pushed her away and now I’m going to lose her. my goal being that I’d like to return to “stasis” – that perfect sweet spot of comfortable company and sexual satisfaction without having to tie myself down to any relationship.
Then, inevitably, the girl starts to get upset, frustrated, confused, etc. My point here: My goal is to maintain the stage before exclusivity and relationship happens. I’m clear on this and it’s practical for where I am in my life right now.